It was exactly two months ago today, July 2, that I arrived here in California to take possession of my apartment in Larkspur. I started packing up my boxes for this latest move the first week of June, and have been basically living from cardboard containers ever since…until last weekend, that is. I have finally unpacked the last of my things, put the artwork up on the walls, and reorganized my rented storage area. And I’ve had the apartment thoroughly cleaned by my new housekeeper for the first time. As of now, I’m officially “moved-in.”

I would like to say that I’m “settled” (as in: “Jim, are you all settled in yet?”), but that’s not really the case. There has been too much stress associated with moving to a different state and taking on a new, high-stress job to (in all honesty) say that I’m settled. But, being unpacked and moved in feels like good progress along that path, I must admit.

To be “settled,” I think I need a little more time to adjust culturally. The change I’m experiencing by moving from an ultra-conservative, economically-depressed community in southern Oregon to a liberal county with the highest per-capita income in the U.S. has been mind-blowing, to say the least.

And that’s not to say I’m not enjoying it here. Because I am. Believe me, living in a place that is on the liberal cutting-edge is quite refreshing. What an incredible relief that I’ve found my way here!

But I experience a good deal of preoccupation, and some degree of angst, about how different this place is, too. For one, I am continually reminded of the high cost of living: everything costs more here, and sometimes it’s way more expensive. Just this morning I went to the nearest car wash, for example, and paid $19.99 for the most basic service they offer. In Eugene, at what I think is the most pricey car wash in the city, the cost is less than half of what I just coughed up today.

And, of course, it’s the first of the month and I just wrote out another rent check. It’s a good thing I finally received a full-month’s pay: my rent is roughly two and a half times of what it was last year. Really, I can’t think of one thing that costs less here.

Additionally, one of the most interesting things that has been on my mind in the last few weeks, as I’ve been looking around trying to pay attention to my surroundings, is my perception that the residents of Marin County are a considerably better-looking lot than I’ve been around in recent times. I started out by noticing the much larger number of people sporting sun tans than are evident in rainy, cloudy, cooler Oregon. And then, as I kept reminding myself that “you can observe a lot just by watching,” I noticed that it wasn’t only the tans, it’s that people seem to look more attractive, more together, and just plain healthier here. For example, it’s my perception that there are significantly fewer obese folks around me now than there have been during the last few years.

So, it was with great interest that last Thursday I came across an MSNBC article that suggests ZIP codes are surprisingly accurate predictors of obesity. As I was able to learn, “in a study published in the September issue of the journal Social Science & Medicine, University of Washington researchers found that adults living in ZIP codes with the highest property values were the slimmest, and those living in ZIP codes with the lowest property values were the fattest.” The data presented in this study are entirely consistent with my informal, non-scientific observations of Marin County residents. With property values here that are literally off-the-charts, according to the UW research people here should be slim(mer). And they are.

My one last observation (for today, anyway) about the culture here is that the attitudes of Marin County residents tend toward elitism, entitlement & privilege. My opinion is that these Mariners know they live in an enchanted place among the rich and beautiful…and somehow these conditions give them a rather special place in society. It’s not really anything specific that anybody says…it’s just that the sense of entitlement here is palpable.

I imagine that once I’m more accepting (i.e., less judgmental) of the cultural values I’m discovering, then I’ll consider myself more “settled.”

Yesterday I took a little road trip. No, I didn’t have another enzyme bath. (The next one is currently being planned, but it’s not on the calendar yet.) This time I visited the western part of Marin County. I needed to travel to Bolinas for a short meeting at the College of Marin Marine Biology Lab…a rather ancient facility owned by my current employer.

Yes, this time Saturday was a workday. At least I got to see the ocean for the first time in a long time, though.

I had been told that Bolinas is quite the little community. One of the elements of the town’s culture is its isolationist tendencies. Residents mostly just want to be left alone, and they like being off the beaten path. Everyone I talked to, when I mentioned that I was going to Bolinas, informed me that people from the town regularly tear down the road sign on Highway 1 that points would-be visitors to their little burg. Indeed, yesterday when I took the turn-off, I noticed there was a post but no sign. (Luckily, I had a co-pilot, as well as a navigation system, that knew the way there.)

I also learned that the San Andreas Fault runs the length of the Bolinas Lagoon, just a thousand feet from where I stood on Wharf Road. It’s prime earthquake territory, as is just about everywhere I am these days. (I just try to not think about that too much!)

The photo at the top of this entry shows an informal, mid-Saturday-morning gathering of Bolinas residents on the dock owned by the College.

chi
Variant: or  ch’i  also  qi  \'chē\
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized
Etymology: Chinese (Beijing) qì, literally, air, breath

: vital energy that is held to animate the body internally and is of central importance in some Eastern systems of medical treatment (as acupuncture) and of exercise or self-defense (as tai chi)

A year and a half ago (February 2006), I wrote an entry entitled, simply, “Qi” (pronounced “chee”). At that time I speculated my “life force,” “vital energy,” or “spiritual energy” [rough English-language equivalents of the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) term “qi”], was in decline – and I was just beginning to see an acupuncturist in Portland to determine whether or not I could address some of my body issues via the TCM route. I saw a practitioner there for about four months, right up until the time I had to move away. One of the things that always concerned me about her, though, was that she did not seem to subscribe to the philosophy upon which the practice was based: while she was a seemingly adequate technician of the craft, I don’t believe she believed. Ultimately, I didn’t really experience much benefit from those treatments. 

At the current time, of course, I have improved my health situation a lot. The TCM practitioner I found in Roseburg earlier this year was instrumental in helping me dramatically turn my life around. She was an all-around Medicine Woman: a true healer. I was fortunate to have found her when I did. Western Medicine was not helping, and in fact may have been hurting, me. This “alternative” approach very likely saved my life.

Alas, I had to leave my Oregon Medicine Woman behind and move yet again. (Don’t get me wrong: it was a good, good thing to leave Roseburg.) So, ever since I’ve been here in Marin County, almost two whole months now, my quest has been to find other healers who can keep me on my recovery path.

As of last week, I have found two individuals who fit this description, both as a result of referrals from my Roseburg miracle-worker. As it turns out, two of her primary instructors are from the Bay Area. The Lauren Berry Method (of bodywork) teacher she studied with lives in Berkeley; when I contacted that person she referred me to a colleague in Marin County who works a few miles north of here in Novato. The TCM guru she studied with lives in San Francisco; and he subsequently referred me to a practitioner even closer, just over in San Rafael.

My new bodywork person seems to be incredibly gifted in her craft. She is very intuitive and gentle, and after just three treatments seems to be making a positive difference with regard to my pain and energy levels. I can’t believe my luck that I’ve found someone with these talents so swiftly.

The TCM story is a bit different, however. Before calling the San Rafael practitioner, I first tried one in San Anselmo. This person had Saturday office hours, which I found desirable, and I had heard good things about him in terms of making a difference in people’s lives. Alas, after just two sessions I determined that he was not the one for me. When I reported to him little results from the first session, the second time he proceeded to get much more aggressive with his acupuncture needles…resulting in unwanted (and I believe unwarranted) pain. (“Holy shit!,” I shouted out, at least a couple of times.) I decided I needed to try something (someone) different, so I called the San Rafael practitioner I had been led to from my Roseburg contact.

I saw him for the first time last Thursday. When I told him, at the intake conversation, that I was turning 60 the next day, he reported that he had turned 60 the previous Saturday. He was very patient, listened attentively to all my concerns, carefully examined the Chinese herbs I have been taking for a few months, and very thoroughly explained his way of working. Fortunately, he was also quite skilled in terms of the actual decorating of my body with his needlework.

His assessment of me rang true…that I was “deficient in qi.” Of course, this is no surprise. This is a long-standing life issue and, as much progress I have made in recent months, I know I still have quite a long way to go.

In case you’re interested, I found a website that explains the five functions of qi (and what happens when one is qi deficient). These are direct quotes from that discussion…

1. Promoting function
Qi provides the active, vital energy necessary for the growth and development of the human body and to perform the physiological functions of the organs, meridians and tissues. If there is a deficiency of qi, its promoting functions are weakened…and growth and development can be affected or delayed, the organs and meridians cannot function properly and blood formation is hampered…

2. Warming function
Being a heat source, qi warms the body and keeps it at a constant temperature so normal physiological functions can take place. Deficiency of qi can lead to a lowered body temperature, intolerance of cold and cold hands and feet.

3. Defending function
In TCM, one of the main causes of disease is the invasion of “Evils”. By resisting the entry of “illness evils” into the body, qi defends against their attack and maintains healthy physiological functions. In western terms, this qi defending function acts like the immune system.

4. Consolidation and retention function
Qi consolidates and retains the body’s substances and organs by holding everything in its proper place…if qi is deficient, the consolidating function is weakened, leading to various kinds of health problems such as hemorrhage; frequent urination, premature ejaculation and stomach or kidney prolapses…

The promoting and consolidating functions work in a complementary manner. For example, qi promotes blood circulation and the distribution of body fluids, but it also controls and adjusts the secretion of fluid substances. The balance between these two functions is essential for maintaining a healthy blood circulation and water metabolism.

5. Transforming functions
Qi also possesses “vaporization” or “transformation” functions, which are important for the metabolism of fundamental substances. As suggested by these words, qi may “vaporize” substances in the body and transform them into essence or vital energy. For example, certain actions of qi allow food to be changed into food essence, which is in turn transformed into different types of qi and blood. Indigestible food and waste are also transformed by qi into urine and stools for excretion.

A lot of the description above is, really, the “story of my life.” Consider, especially, the “warming function.” As a chronically cold human being, nothing could be more profound evidence that I am qi deficient.

Through the use of acupuncture and herbs (as well as the aforementioned bodywork techniques), I am hoping to turn this qi deficiency around and be whole again…transforming myself into a physically-healthy person with a correspondingly healthy spirit.

Some days are a little more difficult than others. Today has been sort of a rough one.

It’s the eve of my sixtieth birthday.

Oh. My. God.

Six. Oh.

You know, I’ve always tended to dismiss the importance of birthday rituals. I just haven’t had much use for them…who needs yet one more reminder of another year gone? For me, it’s typically the thought: I’ve traversed another 365 days…and I’m still alone.

I guess I’ve most always, most years, wanted to just breeze on by the whole birthday scene.

As I prepare to mark the big day tomorrow, I’m realizing that I’ve now lived twice as many years as I thought I would. Some of you have likely heard me say (because this is what I truly believed) that I didn’t feel like I’d ever live past thirty. And, now…well, here I am.

Who woulda thunk?

Tomorrow will be a normal day at work: meetings virtually all day long. I’m new here, and of course nobody knows it’s this particular day in my life. I’ll spend the day among others, but totally alone.

And, this will be a year when I can’t even expect a call from my best friend. We’ve had a tradition of sending cards and calling each other on birthdays, even when we’re totally out of touch…but this year seems to be different. She’s just moved on and I’ve indicated a desire for no contact.

This year, especially…alone in a new place, with a landmark day staring me in the face…I’m not in the happy place that I’d like to be for the occasion.

Where’s the party when you really want one? 

Soundtrack Suggestion

Only the lonely
Know the heartaches I’ve been through
Only the lonely
Know I cried and cried for you

(“Only The Lonely” – Roy Orbison)