


Some days are a little more difficult than others. Today has been sort of a rough one.
It’s the eve of my sixtieth birthday.
Oh. My. God.
Six. Oh.
You know, I’ve always tended to dismiss the importance of birthday rituals. I just haven’t had much use for them…who needs yet one more reminder of another year gone? For me, it’s typically the thought: I’ve traversed another 365 days…and I’m still alone.
I guess I’ve most always, most years, wanted to just breeze on by the whole birthday scene.
As I prepare to mark the big day tomorrow, I’m realizing that I’ve now lived twice as many years as I thought I would. Some of you have likely heard me say (because this is what I truly believed) that I didn’t feel like I’d ever live past thirty. And, now…well, here I am.
Who woulda thunk?
Tomorrow will be a normal day at work: meetings virtually all day long. I’m new here, and of course nobody knows it’s this particular day in my life. I’ll spend the day among others, but totally alone.
And, this will be a year when I can’t even expect a call from my best friend. We’ve had a tradition of sending cards and calling each other on birthdays, even when we’re totally out of touch…but this year seems to be different. She’s just moved on and I’ve indicated a desire for no contact.
This year, especially…alone in a new place, with a landmark day staring me in the face…I’m not in the happy place that I’d like to be for the occasion.
Where’s the party when you really want one?
Soundtrack Suggestion
Only the lonely
Know the heartaches I’ve been through
Only the lonely
Know I cried and cried for you
(“Only The Lonely” – Roy Orbison)
Last October, I told the story of the kid at the Subway sandwich shop who asked if I “did the senior discount.” To which I gave a gentle, but firm, reply: “no!”
Fast forward to yesterday, approximately ten months later. This time, at the local (Greenbrae, CA) Noah’s Bagels store, a modified version of this scenario played out…
I typically visit Noah’s here (as I did the Noah’s on Hawthorne when I lived in Portland), on Saturdays and Sundays, to have an egg mitt and a cup of tea – and read the morning newspaper. Yesterday morning there was a veteran behind the register taking orders, along with a trainee. The experienced Noah’s employee explained that I was a regular and that she typically didn’t charge me the “gourmet bagel” premium on my egg-mitt order, and that since I am such a good guy, she gives me a “family discount.”
Or at least that is what I thought she said.
Senior Discount?!As I received my cup of hot water and took a seat to wait for my bagel, I glanced at the receipt (at left)…only to find that I had received a 10% (54-cent) “Senior Discount!”
This is the first time, I believe, that this has happened. If anyone else has ever accommodated me in this fashion, it certainly has slipped my attention.
Or maybe from my memory? (I’m not as young as I once was, you know!)
This all comes at a time when I’m about to turn over my life odometer this coming Friday, and am contemplating, every day, the fact that I’m soon about to begin my seventh decade on this planet.
Soundtrack Suggestion
When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
You’ll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight
If it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave
Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
(“When I’m Sixty-Four” – Lennon/McCartney)
The Soundtrack of My Life
First, there’s…
Lover please, please come back
Don’t take a train comin’ down the track
Don’t, please don’t, don’t leave me
Don’t leave me in misery
You would never hold me so near
You would never call me “Dear”
Dontcha know I’d die for you?
Now you’re gone, that’s what I’ll do
Lover please, please come back
Don’t take a train comin’ down the track
Don’t, please don’t, don’t leave me
Don’t leave me in misery
All those stories, not too long
About a love that went all wrong
The girl left the boy, just as bad
Now she’s gone, she’s so sad
Lover please, please come back
Don’t take a train comin’ down the track
Don’t, please don’t, don’t leave me
Don’t leave me in misery
(“Lover Please (Come Back)” – Clyde McPhatter)
…and then, there’s…
Well, baby used to stay out all night long
She made me cry, she done me wrong
She hurt my eyes open, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now her turn to cry
Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now
Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now
Well, she used to run around with every man in town
She spent all my money, playing her high class game
She put me out, it was a pity how I cried
Tables turn and now her turn to cry
Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now
Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now
Well, I used to wake (in) the morning, get my breakfast in bed
When I’d gotten worried she’d ease my aching head
But now she’s here and there, with every man in town
Still trying to take me for that same old clown
Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now
(“It’s All Over Now” – Rolling Stones)
NEWS RELEASE
Contact: Cathy Summa-Wolfe, College of Marin, 415-485-9528, cathy.summawolfe@marin.edu
COM Welcomes Jim Arnold, New Dean of Math & Sciences
KENTFIELD, CA-July 31, 2007-College of Marin announced today the appointment of James “Jim” Arnold, Ph.D., to the position of Dean of Math & Sciences, a post that includes the responsibility of five academic departments and Physical Education and Athletics.
“We are delighted to have Dr. Arnold join our team,” said Frances L. White, Ph.D., COM Superintendent/President. “He brings with him the necessary talent, enthusiasm, and experience to take our Math & Sciences Program, which is already excellent, to the next level.”
“From the minute I read the position description and saw the wide range of academic disciplines involved, I felt College of Marin would be a wonderful fit,” Arnold said. “I have a long history of being able to bring groups of individuals together and to communicate effectively with many different interests.”
As head of Math and Sciences, Arnold is responsible for the Departments of Mathematics, Life and Earth Sciences, Physical Sciences, Social Sciences, Behavioral Sciences and Physical Education and Athletics. Erik Dunmire, a chemistry professor who served as the interim dean, will return to his teaching post after a sabbatical.
Arnold comes to the campus with 12 years of administrative experience in the community college environment, primarily at the Oregon University System Chancellor’s Office where he worked in the Academic Affairs Division as the primary liaison between universities and community colleges in that state. Most recently, he held appointments at Mt. Hood Community College as Dean of Science & Technology and at Umpqua Community College as Dean of Math, Science & Liberal Arts.
Prior to his life in the community college world, however, he enjoyed several other careers including chemist, photographer, counselor, teacher and consultant. Arnold earned a Bachelor of Science degree in chemistry from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and a Master of Science degree in chemistry from Oregon State University. He worked as a chemist before switching to a career in photography and then returning to school to earn a second master’s degree in counseling from Oregon State University. He was a counselor and trainer in a job-training/social-service agency and directed a student support services program in the student affairs division at a small regional university campus in Oregon. After a couple of years back in higher education, he pursued a doctorate in higher education administration at Indiana University.
In addition to overseeing academics, Arnold will be involved with the construction of the new science/math/central plant complex at the Kentfield campus.
Osmosis ( äz-mō'-sĕs ).
Function: noun.
Etymology: New Latin, short for endosmosis.
1: movement of a solvent (as water) through a semipermeable membrane (as of a living cell) into a solution of higher solute concentration that tends to equalize the concentrations of solute on the two sides of the membrane.
2: a process of absorption or diffusion suggestive of the flow of osmotic action; especially : a usually effortless often unconscious assimilation <learned a number of languages by osmosis — Roger Kimball>.
I started out my academic life as a chemist, so the term “osmosis” (defined above) is not entirely unfamiliar to me. I can just bet you’re wondering, though, what it is I’m going to say in a blog entry on this topic!
Well, as you likely surmised, I’m not going to be talking about that kind of osmosis, but rather “Osmosis” as it applies to steps along my path toward personal health and well-being…
This story starts with my search, last winter, for alternative health care in Roseburg, Oregon, as my fibromyalgia symptoms were becoming more and more problematic (and as western medicine continued to come up short in its ability to help me). The miracle-worker medicine woman I found there locally was trained in a variety of traditions, including massage therapy, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and craniosacral therapy. And, as it turned out, her massage therapy education also included time within the Lauren Berry Method of bodywork. Her unique skill set led to a miracle turnaround for me, bringing me “back from the brink” (as we came to characterize it).
When I moved from Roseburg to Larkspur, I needed to find someone else (or, more likely, other people) in the Bay Area to tend to my alternative health-care needs. I immediately sought out such providers after arriving here, and through a series of cross-referrals I was led to a bodywork person in Novato, CA, who is also trained in the Lauren Berry Method; so far I’ve had two sessions with her. During my first visit, she recommended that I seek out a unique enzyme-bath treatment available up in Sonoma County, at the Osmosis Spa.
Now, I had never heard of an enzyme bath, so I was curious to learn more. I found out (from their brochure and web site) that this enzymatic process stems from a centuries-old Japanese tradition of harvesting fruits, vegetables, herbs, mushrooms, seaweed and other life forms when they are at their peak and preserving them with saccharides. Then, during the (what is a dry-) bath experience itself, large wooden bath tubs are filled with finely ground cedar, rice bran, and these plant enzymes. This mixture heats up naturally, by fermentation, creating a biologically-generated warmth. The “bath” is an experience of being entirely (your whole body) covered up with this (slightly moist) mixture, up to the chin…much like being “buried alive” in sand at the beach.
This all sounded pretty mysterious to me, but I also read that the reported benefits of this treatment include: relief from joint and muscle aches and pains; reduced tension and fatigue; cleansing of the skin; stress reduction & calming of the nerves; improved digestion; detoxification; and improved circulation & mobility. Without a doubt, a pretty impressive list of possible outcomes! All of which I could definitely use.
I decided to give this approach a try, and after exploring the Osmosis website thoroughly, I made a reservation online for last Friday (the last day the college was closed on Fridays for the summer).
So, mid-morning I drove the hour or so up to Freestone, California, my trusty GPS guiding me all the way. I arrived a little early (of course!), and was greeted courteously at the front desk with a cup of tea and the information that I had about 12 minutes to wait before I started the process. A little bit later an attractive, smiling young woman called my name and led me through the sliding doors, while commenting favorably on the John Lennon t-shirt I had worn for the occasion.
I was shown to the men’s dressing room, relayed instructions about finding a robe, and told where to meet my personal bath attendant when I was ready. After changing and being seated in (what they call) the Japanese tea garden for a few minutes, “V” (my personal attendant, a very pleasant, articulate and well-informed young woman) arrived and we exchanged first names. First, she served me a tea mixed with enzymes made from more than 25 different organically grown plants. As she explained, the tea is a digestive aid, and works in conjunction the metabolic processes that occur during the bath. V then outlined the entire bathing process for me so that I would know what to expect. I had informed her that this was my first visit and that I was totally clueless!
Now, the literature about the bath process indicates that the bath may be done with, or without, a bathing suit (that is, nude. Yikes!). I had changed into a swim suit and was so attired underneath my robe. Of course, my in-bred Midwest Modesty was obviously in play here, and believed I might be a little hesitant to do the bath Full Monty in the presence of a young, female, total stranger. When she asked if I had any questions, I brought up this topic, wondering if I should do this with or without the suit. She very tactfully handled the topic, and explained that the more surface area of skin exposed to the enzymes, likely the greater the benefit. She then entirely left the decision to me, depending on my comfort level.
Well, I decided that it was rather ridiculous to let my old-guy conservative-Midwest reservations get in the way, especially after paying all this much money for a new adventure; after I was led into the (private) bath room, I shed both my robe and bathing suit and entered the scooped-out place in the center of the tub totally stitchless. (And totally California, don’t you think?!)
After getting situated and comfortable in the bed of organic materials, V covered me up with huge handfuls of the mixture from the sides of the tub. As it turned out, the nudity thing turned out to be a total non-issue. I was mildly warm right at the beginning, but quickly became more heated as the minutes ticked by. V left the room for a bit, then re-entered with cold towels for my face and neck, as well as water to sip (through a straw). The twenty minutes went by incredibly quickly, and I suspect I entered some type of mildly-altered state for a portion of the time. At any rate, V took excellent care of me, leaving and then re-entering a couple of times, and before I knew it, the time was up and I was out of the tub, outside the room (outdoors), having my back brushed off (of the moist sawdust-like mixture) by V. I brushed off my front and then entered my private shower where a towel and my robe were waiting for me on the other side.
I perspired a lot during my time in the tub, but the warmth felt totally wonderful. If it would have been allowable, I could have stayed in that environment much longer (I thought). But, with heat treatments, 20 minutes is the suggested max, and I held to it. As it turns out, even that may have been overdoing it for me, since that night I discovered that I had a significant rash on my backside. The rash is precisely where I have most of my chronic lower-back pain, so that seemed rather coincidental. However, it is probably less so when you take into account the fact that that is the area where I apply various lotions and creams to help ease the spasms in that region. Although I did not apply anything to my body that day, likely there was some kind of enzymatic (or merely heat) reaction with some residual lotion on my skin.
After the bath, I continued on with another option they offer in conjunction with the bath; I had a massage. V left me at the bottom of the stairs, and I ascended to the second floor waiting area until “J” came to fetch me. Now, I’ve had many massages before in my life, so finally I was back on familiar ground. J was very talented – she had very good hands.
After the massage, I changed back into my street clothes and checked out at the front desk. (After waiting for two women who were, for some reason, giving the attendant a difficult time about their scheduled massage appointment…they were very abrupt and rude – quite in contrast to the serene nature of the place.) I was treated very nicely at checkout, though, and offered a cup of tea, with the suggestion I visit the meditation garden (which I did for about 15 minutes or so).
It was a little difficult to face the prospect of driving the hour back home and facing the “real world” again, but here I am. I made it. I’m back at it.
I’m not sure yet what this experience has actually done for me: how much benefit it has actually provided. What I do know is that I have not worn my back brace for the last two days (mostly to avoid the possibility of aggravating the rash), with my lower back feeling quite a bit better than it has in recent times. I would very much like this to continue!
After I recover from the rash, I’m pretty sure I’ll be thinking about how soon I can do the whole thing all over again.
If you’re ever in my neighborhood, for now I’m suggesting you just might want to take in this little bit of California while you’re here.