This week’s, perhaps this year’s, winner for the “head-up-your-butt” award is (drum roll, please): the State of Oregon. The evidence to support this distinction is, simply put, overwhelming.

To wit, I received a check in the mail last Wednesday. My dubiously-named “kicker” (tax-refund) arrived because, as you may or may not know, Oregon’s state constitution requires that when there is at least a two percent difference between the final revenue forecast for the biennium and the actual end of the biennium revenue, the surplus must be returned to the taxpayers.

Yes, that’s right, when there’s a difference between the forecast (the amount of revenue that is predicted; calculated in an entirely suspect and error-prone process) and actual revenue, taxpayers get rewarded. They call the refund a “kicker.”

Like a kick in the head, I guess.

This stupid, stupid, insanely-stupid law (!), the only one of its kind in the nation, was created in 1979 and added to the constitution in 2000. And 2007 is now the eighth time Oregonians have received their precious “kicker.” This year, on August 31, when the final revenue forecast was released, there was determined to be a $1.071 billion (yes, billion with a “b”) budget surplus. So, back it all goes to the citizens: to each of us who paid Oregon income tax for 2006, we receive 18.62% of it back.

This means 1.6 million Oregonians will receive checks just as the holidays arrive, with refunds averaging $600. My check, which appeared entirely unexpectedly (since I’ve not been following the news up there), came to $1,066.34.

Huge. Sigh.

Now, don’t get me wrong…really, I’m not totally nuts. I reluctantly admit that I’m going to be cashing it. The deal is, I didn’t want this friggin’ thing in the first place!

Consider this. Oregon’s budget has been in disarray for years. Perhaps forever. The tax structure in the state is a joke with no punchline. (Oregon, along with Alaska, Delaware, Montana, and New Hampshire are the five states with no sales tax.) I believe the anti-tax sentiment in the state to be a contagious, progressive, and ultimately-fatal disease. (Nine sales-tax initiatives have appeared on state ballots; all have been turned down. The most recent one, in 1993, was defeated by a 78 percent majority.) Although much of Bill Clinton’s (“It’s the economy, stupid”) Nineties were relatively stable and prosperous for Oregon (thereby masking the true and inevitable impact of 1990’s Measure 5), certainly since the turn of this century, there have been desperately-difficult financial times. State agencies have been in a state of constant crisis. To issue refund checks instead of creating a robust rainy-day fund (which does not exist), or, say, re-investing some of those dollars in the Oregon University System (or the Community Colleges, or the State Police, or the Oregon Health Plan, or the State Parks, the list goes on and on...), is complete and total folly.

I’m embarrassed for you, Oregon. For your lack of foresight and practicality. For your fiscally-irresponsible and tax-averse ways. For the selfishness and self-centeredness of your citizens.

This law, and this behavior, are a disgrace. You can do better.