Whatever is becoming of me? Am I turning into this stereotype of a curmudgeonly old fart, someone unrecognizable even to myself? Why is it I find myself engaging in some behaviors these days that would have seemed foreign even just a few years ago?

Or maybe, my actions today are because I’m actually healthy (and want to stay that way) and have little to do with curmudgeonliness?

I haven’t a clue…

Here’s the story.

I went out to a local coffee shop this morning to have a cup of tea and read the newspaper. This is one of (what I term) my “civilized behaviors.” Although I swore off coffee years ago, I have never really given up the coffee-house scene. I love going out in the morning and spending some time with a hot beverage and the morning’s newspaper. Today, I treated myself to the Sunday Oregonian.

This time, I also wanted something to eat. I had never ordered a bagel at this particular place before, so I asked the young man behind the counter what the choices were. Well, there were just three bagels left in the entire place at 9:30 a.m., as it turned out, but I asked that the blueberry bagel be toasted (and could I please have some cream cheese?). I watched while he first prepared my tea, then as he washed his hands before he unwrapped the bagel, sliced it, and put it in the toaster.

So far, so good, I thought.

As I sipped my tea from a seat across the room, I continued to watch as he left the toaster and began to wait on other customers. I observed him open the cash register and handle their money. Finally, when my bagel was ready, he turned around again, back to the counter, and with his bare hands lifted the bagel from the toaster. Then he put it on a plate and brought it over to me.

Which I, of course, refused.

Very calmly I told him that I appreciated the fact that he’d washed his hands before preparing the bagel, but that I’d seen him handle cash and then lift my bagel from the toaster…adding that, at the very least, he could have used tongs.

He was somewhat surprised at my words, I think, but immediately offered up, “yes, that was careless of me. How should we handle this?”

When he brought me back a heated muffin instead, he said, “one guaranteed germ-free muffin for you, sir.”