Teller got home from work about 5:00 on Friday. He put down his stuff by the front door, sighed heavily, plopped onto a chair in the bedroom…

…and immediately starting weeping.

His body was achy all over and he was bone-tired. Although it had been a mostly-manageable week, given that it was spring break and campus was very quiet, fatigue and depression seemed to permeate every cell of his being.

Teller had taken two vacation days during the week, though, and for a little while there, he felt almost human. On Wednesday, he spent some time in the morning at his favorite Starbucks reading a dissertation proposal in preparation for an upcoming conference-call committee meeting. While immersed in this academic pursuit, he felt as relaxed as he had for a long time, perhaps several months. Alas, the feeling disappeared when he packed up and moved on to other activities. Even when he went to a movie during that same afternoon, he realized his free-floating anxiety was back and that he was not breathing well, his gut all tightened-up.

On Thursday, his anxiety took a break again for a couple of hours while engaged in a FaceTime conversation with one of his favorite people in the world: the Ph.D. student from Portlandia whose committee meeting was imminent. But, then, it was back to the feeling of off-centeredness, tense body, and problematic bladder.

Friday morning, Teller went back to work, wondering how can this possibly be my life?