Yesterday I took a little road trip. No, I didn’t have another enzyme bath. (The next one is currently being planned, but it’s not on the calendar yet.) This time I visited the western part of Marin County. I needed to travel to Bolinas for a short meeting at the College of Marin Marine Biology Lab…a rather ancient facility owned by my current employer.

Yes, this time Saturday was a workday. At least I got to see the ocean for the first time in a long time, though.

I had been told that Bolinas is quite the little community. One of the elements of the town’s culture is its isolationist tendencies. Residents mostly just want to be left alone, and they like being off the beaten path. Everyone I talked to, when I mentioned that I was going to Bolinas, informed me that people from the town regularly tear down the road sign on Highway 1 that points would-be visitors to their little burg. Indeed, yesterday when I took the turn-off, I noticed there was a post but no sign. (Luckily, I had a co-pilot, as well as a navigation system, that knew the way there.)

I also learned that the San Andreas Fault runs the length of the Bolinas Lagoon, just a thousand feet from where I stood on Wharf Road. It’s prime earthquake territory, as is just about everywhere I am these days. (I just try to not think about that too much!)

The photo at the top of this entry shows an informal, mid-Saturday-morning gathering of Bolinas residents on the dock owned by the College.

chi
Variant: or  ch’i  also  qi  \'chē\
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized
Etymology: Chinese (Beijing) qì, literally, air, breath

: vital energy that is held to animate the body internally and is of central importance in some Eastern systems of medical treatment (as acupuncture) and of exercise or self-defense (as tai chi)

A year and a half ago (February 2006), I wrote an entry entitled, simply, “Qi” (pronounced “chee”). At that time I speculated my “life force,” “vital energy,” or “spiritual energy” [rough English-language equivalents of the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) term “qi”], was in decline – and I was just beginning to see an acupuncturist in Portland to determine whether or not I could address some of my body issues via the TCM route. I saw a practitioner there for about four months, right up until the time I had to move away. One of the things that always concerned me about her, though, was that she did not seem to subscribe to the philosophy upon which the practice was based: while she was a seemingly adequate technician of the craft, I don’t believe she believed. Ultimately, I didn’t really experience much benefit from those treatments. 

At the current time, of course, I have improved my health situation a lot. The TCM practitioner I found in Roseburg earlier this year was instrumental in helping me dramatically turn my life around. She was an all-around Medicine Woman: a true healer. I was fortunate to have found her when I did. Western Medicine was not helping, and in fact may have been hurting, me. This “alternative” approach very likely saved my life.

Alas, I had to leave my Oregon Medicine Woman behind and move yet again. (Don’t get me wrong: it was a good, good thing to leave Roseburg.) So, ever since I’ve been here in Marin County, almost two whole months now, my quest has been to find other healers who can keep me on my recovery path.

As of last week, I have found two individuals who fit this description, both as a result of referrals from my Roseburg miracle-worker. As it turns out, two of her primary instructors are from the Bay Area. The Lauren Berry Method (of bodywork) teacher she studied with lives in Berkeley; when I contacted that person she referred me to a colleague in Marin County who works a few miles north of here in Novato. The TCM guru she studied with lives in San Francisco; and he subsequently referred me to a practitioner even closer, just over in San Rafael.

My new bodywork person seems to be incredibly gifted in her craft. She is very intuitive and gentle, and after just three treatments seems to be making a positive difference with regard to my pain and energy levels. I can’t believe my luck that I’ve found someone with these talents so swiftly.

The TCM story is a bit different, however. Before calling the San Rafael practitioner, I first tried one in San Anselmo. This person had Saturday office hours, which I found desirable, and I had heard good things about him in terms of making a difference in people’s lives. Alas, after just two sessions I determined that he was not the one for me. When I reported to him little results from the first session, the second time he proceeded to get much more aggressive with his acupuncture needles…resulting in unwanted (and I believe unwarranted) pain. (“Holy shit!,” I shouted out, at least a couple of times.) I decided I needed to try something (someone) different, so I called the San Rafael practitioner I had been led to from my Roseburg contact.

I saw him for the first time last Thursday. When I told him, at the intake conversation, that I was turning 60 the next day, he reported that he had turned 60 the previous Saturday. He was very patient, listened attentively to all my concerns, carefully examined the Chinese herbs I have been taking for a few months, and very thoroughly explained his way of working. Fortunately, he was also quite skilled in terms of the actual decorating of my body with his needlework.

His assessment of me rang true…that I was “deficient in qi.” Of course, this is no surprise. This is a long-standing life issue and, as much progress I have made in recent months, I know I still have quite a long way to go.

In case you’re interested, I found a website that explains the five functions of qi (and what happens when one is qi deficient). These are direct quotes from that discussion…

1. Promoting function
Qi provides the active, vital energy necessary for the growth and development of the human body and to perform the physiological functions of the organs, meridians and tissues. If there is a deficiency of qi, its promoting functions are weakened…and growth and development can be affected or delayed, the organs and meridians cannot function properly and blood formation is hampered…

2. Warming function
Being a heat source, qi warms the body and keeps it at a constant temperature so normal physiological functions can take place. Deficiency of qi can lead to a lowered body temperature, intolerance of cold and cold hands and feet.

3. Defending function
In TCM, one of the main causes of disease is the invasion of “Evils”. By resisting the entry of “illness evils” into the body, qi defends against their attack and maintains healthy physiological functions. In western terms, this qi defending function acts like the immune system.

4. Consolidation and retention function
Qi consolidates and retains the body’s substances and organs by holding everything in its proper place…if qi is deficient, the consolidating function is weakened, leading to various kinds of health problems such as hemorrhage; frequent urination, premature ejaculation and stomach or kidney prolapses…

The promoting and consolidating functions work in a complementary manner. For example, qi promotes blood circulation and the distribution of body fluids, but it also controls and adjusts the secretion of fluid substances. The balance between these two functions is essential for maintaining a healthy blood circulation and water metabolism.

5. Transforming functions
Qi also possesses “vaporization” or “transformation” functions, which are important for the metabolism of fundamental substances. As suggested by these words, qi may “vaporize” substances in the body and transform them into essence or vital energy. For example, certain actions of qi allow food to be changed into food essence, which is in turn transformed into different types of qi and blood. Indigestible food and waste are also transformed by qi into urine and stools for excretion.

A lot of the description above is, really, the “story of my life.” Consider, especially, the “warming function.” As a chronically cold human being, nothing could be more profound evidence that I am qi deficient.

Through the use of acupuncture and herbs (as well as the aforementioned bodywork techniques), I am hoping to turn this qi deficiency around and be whole again…transforming myself into a physically-healthy person with a correspondingly healthy spirit.

Some days are a little more difficult than others. Today has been sort of a rough one.

It’s the eve of my sixtieth birthday.

Oh. My. God.

Six. Oh.

You know, I’ve always tended to dismiss the importance of birthday rituals. I just haven’t had much use for them…who needs yet one more reminder of another year gone? For me, it’s typically the thought: I’ve traversed another 365 days…and I’m still alone.

I guess I’ve most always, most years, wanted to just breeze on by the whole birthday scene.

As I prepare to mark the big day tomorrow, I’m realizing that I’ve now lived twice as many years as I thought I would. Some of you have likely heard me say (because this is what I truly believed) that I didn’t feel like I’d ever live past thirty. And, now…well, here I am.

Who woulda thunk?

Tomorrow will be a normal day at work: meetings virtually all day long. I’m new here, and of course nobody knows it’s this particular day in my life. I’ll spend the day among others, but totally alone.

And, this will be a year when I can’t even expect a call from my best friend. We’ve had a tradition of sending cards and calling each other on birthdays, even when we’re totally out of touch…but this year seems to be different. She’s just moved on and I’ve indicated a desire for no contact.

This year, especially…alone in a new place, with a landmark day staring me in the face…I’m not in the happy place that I’d like to be for the occasion.

Where’s the party when you really want one? 

Soundtrack Suggestion

Only the lonely
Know the heartaches I’ve been through
Only the lonely
Know I cried and cried for you

(“Only The Lonely” – Roy Orbison)

Last October, I told the story of the kid at the Subway sandwich shop who asked if I “did the senior discount.” To which I gave a gentle, but firm, reply: “no!”

Fast forward to yesterday, approximately ten months later. This time, at the local (Greenbrae, CA) Noah’s Bagels store, a modified version of this scenario played out…

I typically visit Noah’s here (as I did the Noah’s on Hawthorne when I lived in Portland), on Saturdays and Sundays, to have an egg mitt and a cup of tea – and read the morning newspaper. Yesterday morning there was a veteran behind the register taking orders, along with a trainee. The experienced Noah’s employee explained that I was a regular and that she typically didn’t charge me the “gourmet bagel” premium on my egg-mitt order, and that since I am such a good guy, she gives me a “family discount.”

Or at least that is what I thought she said.

Senior Discount?!As I received my cup of hot water and took a seat to wait for my bagel, I glanced at the receipt (at left)…only to find that I had received a 10% (54-cent) “Senior Discount!”

This is the first time, I believe, that this has happened. If anyone else has ever accommodated me in this fashion, it certainly has slipped my attention.

Or maybe from my memory? (I’m not as young as I once was, you know!)

This all comes at a time when I’m about to turn over my life odometer this coming Friday, and am contemplating, every day, the fact that I’m soon about to begin my seventh decade on this planet.

Soundtrack Suggestion

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

You’ll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight
If it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

(“When I’m Sixty-Four” – Lennon/McCartney)