Here we are: mid-winter. The armpit of the year. But, as the rest of the country has been (and is) enduring a literal deep-freeze experience, in western Oregon we’ve done rather well in recent weeks. Last Sunday the afternoon turned out to be sunny and rather balmy, reaching nearly 60 degrees. Wow! I took a little drive, north from Roseburg on Highway 99, and found the teeny-tiny burg of Oakland . I stopped for awhile and took a stroll around the “historic” downtown, just about the time locals were gathering to watch the Super Bowl at the Oakland Tavern.
Over the last four years, for the time-span of the Iraq-war debacle, I’ve appointed myself an unofficial documentarian of local anti-war/pro-peace efforts (in both Eugene and Portland). As I’ve attended several marches and demonstrations during this time (naturally, because I’m personally aligned with their purposes and goals), I’ve always carried my camera. I’ve taken literally hundreds of pictures of such activities here in Oregon.
A couple of days ago, I was contacted by YES! Magazine asking if I would share some of my shots on their new flickr site devoted to anti-war/pro-peace photos. Their flickr effort is just getting underway, so, as I write this today, there’s not much there yet …but, it may be that you’d like to drop by the site and peruse the contributions every so often. Take a look and bookmark it. It’s at http://www.flickr.com/groups/yesmagazine-peace/.
These are the words of a University of Oregon (UO) student I spoke to earlier this week as I walked among the 112,000 white flags and 3,000 red flags conscientiously and strategically placed to cover much of the main portion of the UO campus. Each of the white flags represent 6 Iraqi soldiers and civilians who have died since the U.S. involvement began four years ago, and each of the red flags represent one fallen American soldier.
The display lasts only this one week. I urge you to see it in person, before Sunday, if at all possible.
Here’s how the Daily Emerald reported the story on Monday. And here’s an online slideshow, from the Emerald, if you’re interested in some of their photos.
Not too long ago, when I was describing my current life, work, and health situation to a friend, she surmised that my predicament was one that “most certainly called for a spiritual practice.”
I totally agree. And, I have focused renewed energy into that portion of my life lately, especially as I’ve had the time in recent days.
One thing helping me, likely more than anything else, is my meditation practice…which I have taken up again on a daily basis in the last couple of weeks. Now, given that I don’t belong to a meditation group here, and I tend to struggle with such a practice alone, I have fallen back on an old ally and friend in this endeavor, Jon Kabat-Zinn, who I first “met” with the publication of his (1990) book Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. I owned the original set of tapes produced to accompany that publication, and just this year, re-purchased those same mindfulness meditation recordings on CD. My particular favorite is the first CD in the set, the guided body-scan meditation, which, when I actually stay awake and do what he (the voice of Kabat-Zinn) directs me to do, provides a healthy, self-focused 45-minute meditation experience, from which I (typically) emerge very renewed and relaxed. (Nope, I earn nothing from this endorsement!)
One of the most impactful parts of this experience is to be reminded, at the beginning of the session every day, that acceptance of self in the moment is most desirable…since, for better or worse, this is our experience right now. There is nothing we can do to control or change our experience, our feelings, or our being in the moment. So, why not focus on the moment and accept ourselves as we are?
I need to be reminded, and like to be reminded of this: every day, or even several times a day. Currently, I tend to try and work on this concept during many of my waking moments, saying, “ah, this is how I’m feeling right now. This is the pain I’m having right now. This is my joy right now. This is what I need to be doing for myself right now.”
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.
If you’re alive, it isn’t.
I’ve had this quotation on my refrigerator door for several years now — as if I actually need a daily reminder that there’s always something (big and bad) coming at me right around the corner (and ready to throw my entire known universe into utter chaos).
This time the issues are all about my health… which probably won’t surprise anyone who has kept up with (or browsed) these Musings very much at all. I’ve been writing about what I first labeled “peripheral neuropathy” since at least last March. Then, later in the year, after my move south, I found a doctor who seemed to have some kind of clue about what was going on with my body, and labeled it “chronic myofascial pain.” And, as you know, I have chronicled such avenues as low-dose naltrexone and acupuncture in my quest to address this predicament.
The latest development is that I seem to have entered some kind of acute phase (or an “eruption,” as my chiropractor likes to call it) with respect to the constellation of my pain issues…enough so that my physician has ordered me to stay away from work. This is a real first for me, so it’s taking a total mental adjustment to accept that I am in such a serious state. The theory is that I can take some time away and calm both myself and the symptoms. I’m scheduled to return to work in a month.
In the meantime, the latest label for my woes seems to be headed in the direction of fibromyalgia…a widespread syndrome that afflicts women much more than it does men. (As usual, in my life, I’m finding myself in the minority.)
I will be seeking much assistance in the coming days, weeks and months. I know I have lots of support out there, and that is very comforting.
Here is what I know I need to do right now:
Breathe.
Take it a day at a time. Breathe.
Go for a walk. Breathe.
Keep showing up. Breathe.
Keep writing. Breathe.
Take a hot bath. Breathe.
Go for a drive. Breathe.
Take a picture. Breathe.
Keep trusting that the universe will provide. Breathe.
