Stress-Related Stuff
First to consider, I suppose, is the age-old question: the chicken or the egg: which came first? An interesting intellectual exercise, no doubt, but isn’t the energy expended in trying to decipher this dilemma rather futilely spent?
How about if we let folks with more time on their hands tinker around with this particular debate, ok?
Next up: Nick Hornby asks, in his thought-provoking novel High Fidelity, when considering some of his favorite songs (“Only Love Can Break Your Heart,” “When Love Breaks Down,” “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,” “I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself,” etc.): “[w]hat came first—the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?” (pp. 24-25)
Again, more of life’s great questions that I think I’ll leave to the pundits and amateur therapists & philosophers out there who focus on our popular culture.
All of this is just a weak lead-in to where I’m really going with this self-reflective, self-indulgent discourse today: my own questions about chronic pain and depression. In a 2003 Stanford University study, not surprisingly, the correlation between chronic pain and depression was found to be quite high: sufferers of one likely needed treatment for both. “The question now is which comes first: the depression or the pain,” they asked. Of course, I think it likely works both ways. For example, just as depression is common among individuals who suffer from lower-back pain, it also appears to be true that depressed individuals can develop lower-back pain.
In my case, I have lived rather my entire life wondering about such issues. After approximately 40 years of chronic physical pain (beginning in my early 20s), the downturns to my physical self are quite typically mirrored in a mood decline. And, then again, when an outside entity or event exerts a change to my emotional well-being, my body almost always follows. The peaks and valleys for my affective state completely parallel my physical ups and downs.
In sum, this serves to remind me that I need to revisit a book I started a little while back, and then subsequently got sidetracked from…Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping. It’s a rather large and scary tome, but valuable information is contained therein, nonetheless. I need more of what’s in there, I think.
Sunshine on a Cloudy Day
On an otherwise cold, gray, blustery, wet and miserable day, a few rays of sunshine poke through during the late afternoon. If sunshine and warmth are possible on a day like this, anything is…
I know, I know: this sounds uncharacteristically optimistic of me, doesn’t it!?
First Do No Harm
I optimistically reported an energy “surge” yesterday. That has turned into an energy trough today. Sigh.
Ah, the ebb and flow of my life…the story continues.
A week ago, I reported on overwhelming feelings of sadness in the aftermath of some deep-tissue work on my legs. I’ve also discussed, within these entries, feelings of rejection, heartbreak and loss with respect to past relationships. Authenticity, trust and the meaning of the human experience are also topics I’ve taken on. I realize that the discussion of these, and similar, themes, are likely to continue. Examining my emotional state, awareness of my physical self, exploring spirituality and existential questions are part of the fabric of my life; I write what I know (or think I do) and ask questions as they occur to me.
But: what, exactly , am I doing this for? What is this blog about?
The simple answer, I guess: my own therapy. I write because writing is what I do. I write because it provides an outlet for thoughts and emotions I don’t have any other place for. And this particular venue gives me a place to share, should anyone self-select into my online world.
But, in writing about myself, I sometimes need to make reference to others. I said in a recent email to ya’ll that “…given that you’re in my life, it’s possible that you could end up being mentioned at some point. If that happens, I hope I respect your privacy and feelings appropriately.”
This means I’ve been doing some serious thinking about blogger ethics. Can I be true to myself, talk honestly about my experience, and still, at all times, treat others fairly and decently? I surely have no outright intention of embarrassing, attacking, angering or hurting you. So: I’ve been asking: what is the “right” way to go about this blogging business, anyway (at least in terms of a personal-experience blog like mine)?
Some thinking has gone into this subject already, of course. I’m not the first to be pondering the ethical treatment of fellow humans within this communication medium. A bloggers’ code of ethics has even been proposed.
I have explored this topic, albeit somewhat superficially, with a colleague I went to graduate school with. Although currently not a blogger himself, he is interested in my attempt here — and he’s an educational researcher with keen awareness of confidentiality issues and the possibility of “harm” to participants in research studies. In terms of the kind of human interplay that is blogging, he opines that:
…we have to remember that this ain’t research!!!! It’s public, democratic, open-sourced, put it out there and see who takes a whack at it discourse.
This goes to my own sense of a communitarian, dialogical reality (put that in your blog and float it). That is, we live in a world where very little is private, even though we value privacy above much else. Privacy is negotiated, just like everything else. And a writer (blogger) has to make his/her own decisions about what s/he can live with if somebody else gets a feeling hurt.
Well, that gives me something to think about.
Now, I don’t have any tremendous insights or answers that I can share with you here today. All I can say is that I continue to think about the potential impact my public words might have on my fellow human beings. And I absolutely intend to do everything in my power to respect others’ feelings and their right to privacy.
REALness, Authenticity & Leadership
I last wrote on the topic of becoming REAL (as defined in The Velveteen Rabbit). Actually, the more time I spend thinking about this topic, the more I’m coming to the place that that kind of REALness is more accurately aligned with age, maturity, wisdom, and being SIGNIFICANT to someone else. Yes, the Velveteen version of REALness appears to be a response to being loved for a long time.
Typically, though, I think of the term “being REAL” as being AUTHENTIC. I believe that being authentic is a critical factor to success in human relationships in general, and effective leadership in particular. Authenticity leads to trust which can lead to great things being accomplished.
You might ask: what exactly is authenticity?
Well, the phrase “bein’ who you are” comes to mind, first of all. Being real or authentic has a lot to do with displaying your true self to the world, without pretenses or “phoniness” (as Holden Caufield might say). Openness, honesty, and transparency are also other synonyms that seem to fit. At any rate, traits such as these in an individual are ones that I admire, am attracted to, and lead me to trust another. I will trust someone when I believe (when I feel) that the other person is allowing me in enough to see who they really are. They tell the truth. Their defenses are down; they allow themselves to be vulnerable. They are, simply, human, and comfortable with themselves. I love the connection that’s possible when individuals are truly authentic with each other.
I see authenticity as an important characteristic of great leaders, as well. Leaders by definition, after all, need followers. And, what inspires one to follow? Well, trust, of course. How could I possibly be expected to follow somebody I don’t trust?
So: Who do I trust: Who can I trust?
Answer: Someone I really know.
In my role as an academic dean at a college, my role is one of leadership. It is that by definition; anyone with the title of “dean” has some power by virtue of the position and can exert leadership (demand followership?) — if you think that that’s really possible. My style is not to rely on power, control, and role-definition, though, but rather to provide a kind of leadership based on trust: trust in me, trust in my decisions, trust that I’ll do the right thing, trust that I’m someone who has everyone’s best interest in my mind and in my heart.
When I came on board as the “interim dean” (and I'm still interim, eighteen months later), Katrina asked me what my priorities were going to be. I said, “relationships. This is probably not what you’d expect your Science & Technology Dean to say, but that’s me: not necessarily talking, thinking, or behaving like a science guy. I knew that to be successful (not ever having been a dean, department chair, or even a full-time faculty member anywhere, ever), I would have to build the trust of those around me as rapidly as I could. During the very first meeting of the entire Science & Technology Division, the first day of Fall term, I deliberately started to work on building that trust. At the beginning of that meeting, I took a healthy portion of time to “tell my story.” I outlined my biography, highlighting a few of the twists and turns that I’ve taken in my personal and professional life, and exposing, I guess, some of my “philosophy of life.” I believed then, and I still do, that this was a very important thing for me to do in terms of relationship- and trust-building.
I’m told that I’m an effective leader. If such is the case, then I think that’s happened because people trust me. And, I believe that they trust me because they know me. My goal is to be as honest and forthright as I possibly can, with no secrets and no secret agendas. I am who I say I am, do what I say I’m going to do when I say I’m going to do it — and do my job as competently and conscientiously as possible.
I don’t think that great leadership ever happens without trust. And, in my case, I know I could not ever see myself in a leadership role without letting those around me, know me.
Some Not-So-Random Thoughts About Change
Introduction
Change has come my direction in at least a couple of ways: either having it thrust upon me or recognizing myself the need for change and deliberately planning for it. Unplanned change may be a necessity when a crisis strikes. Examples of crises are natural disasters, as well as some “unnatural” ones (such as having a key employee or significant other unexpectedly leave). Planned change comes about when there is time to lay out a strategy for a transition from one state or condition to the next.
In the next section I discuss the strategies and coping mechanisms I utilize when I find myself in the midst of a change process. As such, this comprises an abbreviated version of my “philosophy of change.” Following the discussion of my philosophical approach, I conclude with a specific example of a change process I facilitated on the state level in Oregon.
An Abbreviated Guide to Successfully Facilitating Change
I have participated in a variety of situations involving major change: starting a small business (with no business training!); implementing a new student support services program with a very tiny budget at a four-year campus; and assuming a new role with the university system central office to come up with a plan for the universities to work more effectively with the community colleges. These particular examples of change were not borne out of a sense of crisis, though they all involved “creating something out of nothing” and necessitated that I serve as a change agent in these various environments.
Given the many transitions I have experienced and/or facilitated, I believe in the statement: change is difficult. Planned or unplanned, change upsets our lives. And, who needs that? Aren’t we all a bit more satisfied with status quo, even when the status quo isn’t all that terrific? At least we know where we stand and what the rules are. But even a change process can have rules, or at least guidelines. What follows are ways that I have for facilitating and/or coping with change. Mostly these principles apply to administering planned change, but many of these are also applicable for tending to unplanned change as well.
Provide leadership and vision. Because change is typically so unsettling, having solid leadership to manage it is essential. A leader who exudes confidence, is able to articulate the need for and direction of change, and can provide a vision for the future, is the individual who can make change a manageable, less frightening experience for all involved.
Plan ahead. If you know where you are and where you want to be, then it’s possible to plan. A detailed (and written) plan is going to assist everyone in the change process because it can reduce the anxiety level by laying out a pathway for the change ahead.
Anticipate obstacles and expect the unexpected. The path of change is often littered with barriers, of course, even in the presence of a good plan. A good strategy when in the midst of change is to expect the unexpected: there are bound to be many unanticipated problems to solve along the way. How does one handle the unexpected when, well, it’s so unexpected? There is obviously no one answer for that question. Perhaps it is simply best to realize that no plan is perfect and that using our own personal coping mechanisms are what we need to rely on during times of high stress.
Focus on teamwork. When groups and organizations are engaged in a change process, things typically go smoothest if a team approach is used. The concept of “team,” in my experience, has various interpretations. My use of the word team connotes a sense of involvement and investment by everyone in the organization, and, to the extent possible, a role to be played by everyone individually in order to make the change process a successful and non-threatening one. In my opinion, the responsibility for establishing a team approach lies squarely with the organization’s leadership: everyone must be invited to participate and be utilized to their fullest potential. Also in the domain of effective leaders is the responsibility of establishing clear expectations of team members and outlining individuals’ roles.
Model and facilitate good communication. The absolutely central concept to facilitating successful change, to providing leadership and vision, and to promoting a team approach, is communication. In any organization, communication breakdowns and rumors can subvert the change process by providing inaccurate, incomplete, and/or totally fabricated “information” to the participants in the change process. Change is facilitated in the most-healthy way by keeping everyone in the loop, listening to the ideas (and frustrations!) of team members, and respecting the thoughts and feelings of everyone.
Keep breathing. Literally, change can take your breath away. There is a lot of anxiety and tension associated with change. I always need to remind myself, and those around me, to “keep breathing. Relax. Things will all work out.”
One Example of Facilitated Change
When I was employed by the Chancellor’s Office of the Oregon University System, I led the process that resulted in the first new statewide transfer degree in fifteen years: the Associate of Science/Oregon Transfer degree in Business (AS/OT-Bus, adopted by the Oregon State Board of Education in April 2003). The only other statewide transfer degree that existed before then in Oregon was the Associate of Arts/Oregon Transfer degree (AA/OT, which came in to existence as the result of legislation in 1987). In facilitating this process:
I worked with a cross-sector group (the Joint Boards Articulation Commission) to propose the concept for this degree in late 2000.
From 2001 to 2003 I provided the leadership for the grass-roots movement that culminated in the establishment of this degree.
I articulated a vision for the anticipated product.
I laid out and implemented a plan to involve everyone that would need to have a voice in developing a new statewide degree.
I communicated regularly with all the groups participating in the degree-development process. In so doing, I focused on trying to make the degree the work of a “team of teams.”
I led countless group discussions and modeled good communication. I kept everyone in the loop.
I kept breathing, and reminded everyone else to do the same, over an over again, as the political process evolved toward the final agreement of what the degree should look like.